Ep12: Leaving Las Vegas

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Thanks for all the inebriated amnesia!

We come back a week after the fellas have their own respective stints in entertainment.  Ryan plays the other man in short film the Long Lost Last Weekend and Jonathan is the opener / emcee at the Improv at Harrah’s on-the-stip in lovely, historic Las Vegas.  Jonathan comes face-to-bicep with male dance group ‘Thunder from Down Under’ and gets phat bank for cameo in Jonah Hex residuals (no, not really).  The guys do a self obsessed IMDB star meter ranking update in light of entertainment gigs that causes flaccid egos, but hey – the Nerd Aristocracy does break over 2000 unique listens with about 200 proud Nerd Proletariet listeners!
DJ Andyredrum lends some more tunes for our break as we learn that yes, finally Pirates of the Caribbean 4 is announced.  This causes a general debate over films who should’ve never have seen a sequel.  New Wonder Woman costume upsets nerds and breaks the bank accounts of Cosplay fans.  The Corporation for Public Broadcasting keeps its funding!! (for now)  Tax the fat cat debate, Jesse ‘The Body’ / ‘The Governor’ Ventura likes E.T. and still has no time to bleed.  Rebel nerd hijacks part of Gaddafi’s clamped down communications network and claims it for the resistance.  Love hurts for true: heart break is physical pain.  Nerding out: Ryan on Neil Gaiman’s Fragile Things -the title of which he cannot recall-, Jonathan continues to edit his six-part mini series for the Ken Burns and Oliver Stone epic ‘Love Leaks’.  Ryan gives his hands-on impression of the Motorola Xoom and we have some Nerd Aristocracy swag to share around.


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Ep11: Computer Insecurity 101

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Syrian hacker Mr. Venus' tramp stamp

Venus rhymes with...

Oh the irony!  The Nerd Aristocracy’s .com is hacked by Syrian Mr. Venus and some others from the ole’ Soviet Bloc.  This brings Ryan into an in-depth and flawed detail what a ‘White Hat’, ‘Black Hat’, and ‘Red Hat’ are in terms of computer security.  Some brief parenting tips flawed in a different way that will undoubtedly raise a red flag for DHS and Ryan assuredly mis-corrects Jonathan about the sex of Dr. Spock.  Ryan gives his impressions of the Nintendo 3DS in which he is anticipating impending class-action suits from the parents of cross-eyed children and families of morons who are bound to walk in front of buses.  This brings a general stink eye towards the latest 3D hype in general.  Jonathan holds on to his late adoption of new tech and the virtues (and shame) of it.  Jonathan goes to HubFest in Hattiesburg, Mississippi drawing an enthusiastic ‘Meh’ from him as the festival pleasure center of his brain is oatmeal after living in New Orleans for years.  Jonathan Bell to play the Improv at Harrah’s on the strip in Las Vegas from April 5th – April 10th!  Free tix to all who email mail@nerdaristocracy.com.  Jonathan and Ryan assess their fact-checking department’s record on par with Fox News and realize that just because facts are wrong doesn’t mean the discussion isn’t entertaining!  Jonathan recommends an excellent docu-memorial about Greg Giraldo featuring some of the most talented comedians around and some of his personal experience in the world that is Comic.

Back from the break with cut-n’-paste religion: Thomas Jefferson’s Cliff Notes, an 85-page Bible reduction served with a side of philosophy of spirituality vs. religious doctrine paired with a tangy Council of Nicaea that Ryan mis-dates by about a millennia: but who’s counting?  “She’s a witch!”  And she’s prevented from securing the friendly skies: TSA agent fired for casting spells on car heaters.  Natalie Portman’s stand-in dancer (dance-in?) from Black Swan raises a bitch fest wanting people to realize the movie is not actually real while sabotaging any chance she’ll ever work in film again.  This brings Ryan and Jonathan to share some experiences standing in on The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons, Final Destination 4: 3D, and Freshmen Orientation.  Ryan assesses that Brad Pitt can be like the Ark of the Covenant: powerful, silent and ‘Don’t look at it, Marion’, while Jason Flemyng is a jolly chap and David Fincher is accommodating and generally awesome.  Science news: computer can map your dreams and Jonathan’s concern about runaway technology that’ll enable Transformer-armed paraplegics to burst through you wall and steal Diet Coke from your fridge.  We end with an overview of the (IMDB) Internet Movie DataBase’s Star Meter – Ryan down and Jonathan up.

 


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Ep10: Odyssey Dawn

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Coming soon: Tom Clancy's Odyssey Dawn

Coming soon to the all parts in the Middle East

No business like show business, Jonathan and Ryan recount a recent audition while real actors Brad PItt and Angelina Jolie are harangued by paparazzi in New Orleans.  Both Jonathan and Ryan get something wrong and talk about it for a bit: Brad and Angelina do, in fact, have biological kids (future benevolent dictators of the planet Earth).  Elizabeth Taylor has gone on to the Spirit in the Sky as Trey Parker and Matt Stone salute that Spirit with their Broadway musical, ‘The Book of Mormon’.  Speaking of Mormons, Glenn Beck is a flipping lunatic alluding that Japanese disaster is probably the will of God.  We move into the fun world of religion as Ryan waxes on cannibal Catholicism and dogma.  Feeling good with some wrestling stories, still someone loses a one-legged ass kicking contest.  Blue Angel bring out Ryan’s patriotic side and Jonathan remembers MS Flight Sim and Top Gun from Nintendo days.  Ryan gets a Playstation 3 (wee!) and give his impressions on Batman: Arkham Asylum and Heavy Rain with a GeoHot callback.  Falling down running for the border: Taco Bell is playing with our emotions.  Satire so good its plausible enough to be believed hook, line and sinker: Jonathan brings in a story about republicans rounding down pi.  Japanese disaster and Japanese Hentai.  “Face off, now with less Nicholas Cage!”  U.S. stretches its muscles in exercise “Odyssey Dawn”.  Ryan spins the news and blues legend Pinetop Perkins playing in the sweet here after.

 

Natural Disasters tracker

National Association of Radio Distress-Signalling and Infocommunications
Emergency and Disaster Information Service – EDIS


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Ep09: Garbage Pail Cans

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Betty Bazookas?

Welcome back after a Mardi Gras and sickness hiatus!  Jonathan shares a grown up’s enjoyment for Mardi Gras, having learned drinking is a journey and not a destination.  Ryan gives an update on the fact that we appear to be the number one podcast in Russia based on spam registrations.  Thoughtful presents that smell like old people in the rain and practical presents like knives and handkerchiefs for magicians.  Charlie Sheen tour is going gangbusters in pre-sales.  The dangers of unwarranted encouragement and pandering to yourself whether you be a child or celebrity.  The Situation’s unfunny situation on The Donald’s roast.  Pouring out a forty for homie Nate Dogg.  Reviews are in for Jonathan’s White Trash Soufflé, band Odessa from Horn Lake Mississippi, and the band Train.  Sex in Garbage Pail Kids’ advertising, Dan Aykroyd’s sees aliens Mufon dot org.  A new Conan coming to barbarianize a reboot.  Contributor to the show JBrown breaks down the tablet computer leaders.  The science fair- its kid’s stuff.  How do you love yourself if you’re transgender and some Nerdng Out.

Dan Aykroyd tracking the heavens for E.T. at M.U.F.O.N.

Rocking out with band Odessa

The Situation: SNAFU

Link to the most awesome eBay auction in some time: Garbage Pail Gagas


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Ep08: Tiger Blood

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For Epic Events Charlie Sheen Tiger Blood

The Aristocrats start off with a belated welcome and muse on their nerd youth a bit then talk about doing ‘ludes with Casper the friendly ghost.  This gives way to Jonathan’s story of jacking himself up on caffeine pills when in high school for Quiz Bowl championships in the state capital and Ryan counters with a college tale of popping Mini-Thins and terrorizing children playing Q-Zar.  In-depth Charlie Sheen tiger blood interview analysis.  Jonathan gets something wrong: what anemia is and Ryan falsely accuses Jonathan of mispronouncing ‘Centurion’ and thus gets something aggressively wrong himself.  Porn star karaoke, Oscar wrap-up, Fox News caught balancing the scales, the Supreme Court rules like a Supreme Chode.  iPad 2 is out and Ryan talks a mite about it while Jonathan struggles to stay awake.  Jonathan’s B-Day plans, some New Orleans news, listener feedback, listener photo-back: a miner’s pick in a hardware store.  Ryan shares a story from the set of ‘Loss of a Teardrop Diamond’, Saving Private Ryan on broadway, Thunder Cats reboot and why all the remakes?

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YouTube: Chuck Sheen: The Interview w/Good Morning America

YouTube: Fox News balancing the scales


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Ep07: The Girl with the Nerd Tattoo

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Noomi Rapace will gut us like a Swedish fish.

Noomi Rapace will gut us like a Swedish fish.

A red-letter episode as we officially announce the officialness of our podcasting might by being listed in iTunes! Now easily downloadable from iTunes which will remember where in each episode you may leave off for easy listening goodness. Child’s play with elementary theatre, Middle East unrest (still… wow, go figure), the catch-22 of Republican doctrine, Apple minute with the new MacBook Pro’s being announced and the new Thunderbolt tech to surpass USB 3.0. Ryan spirals into more Nerdosity as he questions Jonathan’s actual nerd-ness and relates how the hacker collective Anonymous is spanking intolerant church cults while lone hacker GeoHot is being spanked by Sony for cracking the PlayStation 3 source code but is getting mass public support for his legal defense fund. Jonathan follows Ryan’s movie recommendations after someone whose opinion he actually values suggests it: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Ryan offers a show for consideration Jonathan poo-poos on because he’s just too young to appreciate it: Men of a Certain Age. Ryan offers some bachelor diet advice. Everyone’s sick, dead baby dolphins (thanks BP), listener comments. Jonathan ranks his lady’s merits.

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GeoHot digging in against Sony – Hacker who originally jailbroke the iPhone on YouTube

Get to know Anonymous

Click to catch up with cyber vigilantes: Anonymous.


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Ep06: Angry Gentry

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'saddle up pardner.

Ryan leaves his corporeal being for some freaky out-of-body experience (OOBE) unrelated to drug abuse as Jonathan enjoys abusing a drug in the form of his new-found coffee appreciation.  This gives way to Jonathan’s blitzkrieg on writing off the Egyptian people altogether, detesting other people’s taste in music -particularly Kid Rock and the whiskey bottler / platinum-selling country music superstars Jonathan and Ryan had never heard of: Montgomery Gentry.  Then things mellow out as Ryan reviews Black Swan, theater audiences, the Social Network and unnecessary CGI as Jonathan gets furious about Angry Driver: 3D’s formulaic blah-ness and shames the universe for their lack of concern about the snuffing of federal funding for the arts or something.  Daddy needs a new pair of shoes: the Shoe Carnival not just  a shoe store: it’s an event!  Tyler Durden lives on in the worst way possible.  Ryan spins the news and Jonathan gets romantic on the phone without paying $5.99/min.

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Calm Jonathan down and support the arts, slackers.


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