We roll out off-the-cuff with some missed callings, top three things we think we would’ve been appropriate at from fighting in the American Revolution, to investing in stocks, to being a Nazi, a porn star and more ill-chosen fun. Speaking of stocks: Nerd tip of the month: Groupon’s IPO, grab it when it hits the shelves – Google thought they were worth 6-something BILLION, so that’s a good indicator they’re on to something good, no? Mac crash, trojan horse, Chinese kidney for iPad and Jonathan calls Ryan’s goose-stepping support for Apple out. Datacaps from Internet Service Providers loom in the shadows ahead as Netflix is cutting into their pie (your delicious wallet) sending Ryan into his crazy inner voice of psycho doom. Speaking of crazy inner voices of psycho doom: Floridian shoots the hell out of a store for being out of crawfish. Yes: crawfish. NEWS FLASH: Sara Palin says something flipping retarded and Ryan breaks down the misunderstood natural eloquence that Miss Maverick embodies in spite of being assailed by the lame-stream media and lame-stream history books and lame-stream science books.
How about some tasty Watermelon? Perfect for a summer break!
40 things that’ll make you feel old, including the 10 minutes we devote to reading this list! Floppy disks, child stars, old T.V. shows, pubescent crushes on television characters and more. Sony welcomes back users with their Welcome Back Package! Sony also welcomes back another hack, this time to SonyPictures.com as nimrod-douche-bag-hackercratic group of keyboard sophomores, LULZSEC blindly attack hapless users who just happen to have a registration with Sony by publishing their information on torrent sites. Another LULZSEC proud moment: hacking PBS for covering Wikileaks on Frontline while not gobbing uncritical praise on Julian Assange. D-bags. (Remember our podcast and site well folks…) Death claims Dr. Death: we give propers to Dr. Jack Kevorkian and his three missions in life. David Fincher’s leaked ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ trailer hits the net and is pulled BUT WE HAVE IT as pure cultural commentary, which should be protected under some law, right? … until it’s probably pulled – link for the full uncut ‘naughty’ red band trailer is after the summary. Old Spice Guy, Isaiah Mustafa: The Man Your Man Could Smell Like” does a self-funded trailer featuring himself as comic book hero Luke Cage – trailer hits the net and is vaporized (really tried to find it too, sorry ). This brings up other times actors have petitioned for their casting of a certain character: Elijah Wood as Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings series and Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman in Man on the Moon. Ryan nerds out on Borderlands on his PS3 as Jonathan nerds out on some classic X-Files.
Watermelon by D.Willz…